“Icaros” by Alan Valle Monagas

It all started outside the bar,
Swills and banter with the boys.
All of a sudden, he approached,
A lonesome and cute puppy.

Lovely lost little baby.
Brave, red collar around his neck.
No name, no number.

I grabbed him,
Took him with me,
To save him,
Find him a home.
And even though,
Everyone loved him –
Everyone just said no.

A week later,
I gave him to my grandma.
A week later,
And she gave him back to me.

My aunt convinced her,
To reject the pup.
When I arrived there,
It was night.
He was
He was in a box.
When I picked it up,
It broke,
And she laughed,
It was a foul prank.

I remember the way,
He licked my arm,
While I was petting him.
Beautiful beast
Light brown fur and white spots.
Bright paws and jaw,
Black lips,
Cute little whiskers.
I couldn’t believe
How much you had grown up.
I wish you were here,
Little mister.
I wish you were here,
Little baby I caressed
While he rested
Comfortably on my chest.

What I feared the most,
Finally happened.
On my knees, beside the road,
Horrified.

He tried to cross
To his savior,
A car was coming.
I saw him being mangled,
It ran over him.
I fell to my knees,
Crying in despair.

It was too much.
Having to lift him up,
Feeling his broken bones,
As his ribs shifted
Between my fingers.
I cried and cursed as loud as a man could.
The entire neighborhood heard,
And the person who ran him over
Stopped. Before they sped off,
And I put him in a box,
Like the one he first had,
His first night home.

If God doesn’t love me,
I don’t love him back.
He allows the Devil
To take what I love most.
Bliss reduces to anguish,
It is not fair,
It has never been fair.
He does not care,
God does not care.
His love was enough for me.
It was enough.

He was still alive,
For a moment, he cried.
I drove to the vet,
Knowing he would die.
Yelling at God, at Satan,
Whoever demanded his sacrifice.

If he survived
We would end his life.
End his suffering,
Why won’t you end mine?
Why is it funny?
Why make a joke of love?
Why make life a tragic comedy?
If you call this love
I don’t want you to love me.
You let the Devil laugh at me,
As he stood beside
Our broken bodies,
Laughing at my screams.

Why didn’t I keep another leash?
No one to told me to.
Why didn’t I keep him in a leash?
The stupid things we do.

Now I no longer have him,
To keep me warm at night.
I loved that dog more than anything,
His beautiful loyalty.

His quirks, always running to me,
He would put his two front paws on the bed,
While wagging his little tail,
Asking me to lift him up.

I can’t do anything else,
Just bend over and cry.
Red and white lights strobe outside,
An ambulance has come for my neighbor,
That afternoon, he heard my screams,
He too has died.

Alan Valle Monagas

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“Drake” by Alan Valle Monagas

We drove around the city, frantically
Fearful of every bump in the road.
Looking for a clinic, a sign
For anybody that could save his life.
Nobody answered, harsh lights
A Holiday night, the time
Acted against us.
Wounded past eleven
Missed the mark by minutes
We were left helpless,
With no other choice
Everything was closed
Except for his wounds,
We went back home,
Grabbed gauzes and strings
Mercury and adhesives
In our quiet desperation
While our hands trembled
Medicine dripping and spilling.
When we finally grabbed
A good look at his wounds,
We could not believe
What we were seeing.
Skin ripped from the neck, stomach, back
All exposed flesh, meat like brains
Profusely spilling his blood.
A bite that tore
And revealed his insides
On his right hind leg
Deep enough to fit
A thumb and knuckle in.
What I felt that night
Was difficult to describe.
God likes playing jokes,
And we can blame ourselves
All we like, or we can learn
From mistakes, and avoid
Our same suffering.
We learned this was the best,
To avoid heartaches and pain,
To protect the life of our loved ones
Truth be told, to protect ourselves
From our misery, when we face Death
Knowing our loved ones won’t be around
To cheer us up, drown our loneliness
Of an ‘I’ left as a witness
Cursed consciousness,
Everything is perfect as it is.
Chaos’ distress,
When money becomes worthless,
Cannot buy treatment
For family, close to death.

When our last moments are spent
Collecting bloodstains
On our clothing, from holding
Them close. Warmth,
Try and make their last moments
A comfort through their torment.

If only I had knowledge,
To stand up to this God’s reign,
To stitch your open wounds.
Life demanded it be you.

God persists,
Demanding sacrifices,
Which should not even exist.

Alan Valle Monagas

“Market” by Alan Valle Monagas

Every day, after school,
Bryan stood outside.
He waited for his ride
Away from the idiots.

When I heard he died,
I thought he took his life.
He was bullied and unhappy,
Like many others before him.

With his death, a curtain lifted,
Revealing hidden details,
A closet’s oblivion,
He was gay.

He died sitting on a chair,
Complaining of headaches.
His mother looked away
For a second,
When she turned back
Bryan was dead.

We must remember.
Life is short-lived,
But memories last forever.

“Luna Nueva” por Alan Valle Monagas

Soledad, piensas en almas
Sin ver una eternidad,
Extrañas la luna nueva
Bríndale oídos al mal,
Dirección a su conciencia,
La vela que alumbrara.

¿Dónde estarás justicia?
Compartiendo tus caricias.
En vez de contestando las
Llamadas, no recibidas
Hacia atrás. La verdad
Es una broma de Yahvé.
Solo los dioses conocen
Si en una coincidencia,
Me amastes para atrás.

Alan Valle Monagas

“Dream” by Alan Valle Monagas

I’ve been trying to forget her,
For the past eight months.
I’ve been trying to forget her,
God gives me no luck.
I’ve been sent here to suffer.
To learn from Cain’s mistakes.
I’ve been told that life is a dream.
Children of Palestine,
I’ve cried over news of their death,
Society considers me a wreck.

I’ve been dreaming about her,
Even when she’s far away.
Seen her at the side of a road,
All alone.
I walked out of a moving vehicle,
Past the lovable liar and Jonathan,
Shook hands to greet the Mormon,
Arrived at the bar, our paths crossed.
We looked into each other’s eyes,
I walked over, an imp arrived first.
Nothing her words could not deter.
He disappeared, then we spoke. Her relationship,
With her girlfriend, was on the rocks,
Her ménage’e’troi with Edgardo,
Went awry.

If only our dreams went on,
Infinitely. If they were indications,
Of a future that exists or develops,
In alternate realities, and galaxies.
Our spirits and minds occupying
Different vessels across time.
Apartment buildings filled to the brim.
Family, sharing drinks and drugs,
A house shared between me and her,
With bright lights and mirrored doors.
In that island paradise. Endless
Bonfires, music festivals.
Living merrily, lacking nothing,
Everyone happy, fulfilled and equal.
Reality.

Alan M. Valle Monagas

“Tempestad” por Alan Valle Monagas

Versos que vienen entre
Estar despierto y el sueño.
Un enamorado con la cría
De sus abuelos.
Uno de ellos,
Amaba y abandonaba
Sus amores.
Elena estuvo entre ellas.
Tuvo más de once hijos
Por Nueva York y Puerto Rico.
Después se desapareció,
Nunca lo he conocido.

Mi otro abuelo le rompió el corazón
A su esposa, mi progenitora,
A su hijo, mi padre,
Al ver a su padre
Ser le infiel a la madre
El día de su cumpleaños,
Con la condenada Americana
Rubia, con ojos azules.

Su nieto ingrato,
Sigue en sus pasos.
Relacionándose,
Con una Americana,
Peli roja de ojos azules.

Llegue temprano a la barra,
La alarma me levanta a las una.
Al subir los escalones
Fui recibido;
Por su solemne sonrisa.
Y ella se fue temprano,
Bajo los escalones
Antes de oírme declamar,
Mis poemas de rabia y amor.
Siempre hay otra persona
En sus vidas,
Y aun nos enamoramos.

Anoche llego el día,
En el cual los solitarios,
Deciden reunirse con sus ex
Parejas. La vida es tan corta,
Nos invertimos en una sola persona,
Sin saber el sentimiento
Ni el conocimiento que perdemos.
Cada cual más complejo,
Que el mismo mundo
Que le dio el fuego.

Nuestra belleza anciana del cielo,
Es inversamente proporcional,
A nuestra maldad, como especie humana.

Como raza, te amaría tan fielmente,
Siendo directamente proporcional,
A como me rehúsa el colonialismo militar,
Derrocaría a todas las instituciones,
En golpes de estados y revoluciones,
Todo por complacerte a ti.
Veras, esto se mide en acciones.

En la playa están los pulmones,
Apoderados de ese aire de sal cargado,
Vivimos por la gracia del sol.

En el restaurant nos convertimos,
En compañeros, en una cena Christica,
En la luna llena, vemos vuestro reflejo.

Entonces se desprecia,
Solo miran al alto, fuerte, al blanco,
Desprecian y te niegan
Por la tez de tu piel, negro malvado.

Pero el espíritu libre de Ariel,
Contemplativo, imaginativo
Se encarna en este ser, además
Hay una cosa que este cuerpo de negro
Me ha dado para llenar a tu ser,
Pero gracias a la iglesia católica
Y la derogación de lo indígena,
Se ha desmitificado
El ahogado más bello del mundo.

Y hasta que llegue la hora,
Donde amare a una sola mujer,
No puedo creer en,
Un concepto tan triste como lo es,
El ‘amor’ de dos, cuatro o dieciséis,
¿Sera una consagración venerable?
El amor de dos cientos y cincuenta seis –
Minutos, con existencia del equilibro…
Entre lo ilusorio y el respeto,
Eso te lo profeso y esto te lo juro.

Por esta razón respondí,
“No amo a ninguna,”
En el día de San Valentín
“Las amo a todas.”
Mi profesora respondió,
“Pues este no conoce el amor muy bien.”

Alan Valle Monagas

“Weight of Her Words” by Alan Valle Monagas

We lose sight of the beauty,
Surrounding us in our lives.
Eyes that waver to the ground,
Are we afraid to look around?

You asked why I was laughing,
At our dinner table,
Mentioning how we were drunk,
Two complete wrecks,
Well, I laughed because I was
Unarmed, the world seemed to stop,
Staring into each other’s eyes;
All our problems had died.

We wander around the world,
Attached so closely to others.
Hoping they match with an idea
Or a figure we have created,
In the depths of our minds: fantasies
Some of which die in time, but others
Fortify, like the glow in her eyes.

Some people fall in love through passion,
Bonds based upon instincts and actions.
The sensation of a stranger’s touch,
Is there any other honest rush?
What happens to their flame afterwards?
Will it burn once they’re familiar?

Some of us walk alone but fulfilled,
Aware we don’t need other people
To reach our own greatest potential.
A lonely minority that tries:
To forget feelings that are crucial,
Humans, we are all mammals inside.

Some individuals remain torn cold,
Between their loneliness and the world.
They fall for the first one who ‘listens’,
Hoping it’s not just part of an act.
They form these false fantasies and dance,
In an aching one-sided romance.

Search in your heart, you know it’s true.
Loving a friend with endless passion,
Where a familiar touch ignites
A solace, unbeknownst to light.
Like a cool breeze, love tends to revive,
In the moments you are by their side.

We miss sights of red roses
And hesitate to lay down.
Blind to the stars above us
And the moments we have found.

Nothing I hear from others
Carries the weight of your words.
Road signs and green lights,
Conducting us farther and closer.

Alan Valle Monagas